Saturday, September 3, 2011

Reflections: Moment

There are those everlasting songs: Tunes that sifted through summer flings, tragic breakups and stick to our most treasured memories. Yeahhh, those songs.

Today, listening to Pandora and pushing a sponge against an encrusted plate, one of those songs took hold of my cerebellum and pulled me through my past, present and future:

When my father was working at BET, he used to come home with samples of new music. I remember him bringing home Ruff Endz’s “Someone to Love You” single and tossing it to me.
“They’re on the come-up; I think you’ll like them.”

It was like I was outside of myself. A girl of fourteen, swinging to and fro in a tattered swivel chair, placed the CD in her computer’s drive. After the first three lines of the song, she pushed the headphones closer to her ears, amazed at how easily the lead singer verbalized every teenage girl’s truth.

The tears were unexpected, the repeat inevitable and the emotion indescribable.
There is a moment where every girl realizes the difference between a good man/boy and the one she dealt or is dealing with. After this moment, we either take one of two turns. The first path is that of denial: A long and twisted road scattered with false hope and wishful thinking, half-assed men greeting us along the way. The second path is that of truth: A lonely journey trudging morals and values that will beam their brightest only in the palm of the purest heart.

The latter seems too cliché for these teenage girls. They are taught by life’s love lessons earlier on that fairytales only exists in books.

I believed that too.

That there was no boy/man with a mother that had raised him like mine had. They don’t respect their temples as we do. Love was only for breaking hearts and hurting slowly.
I neglected my moment. Flung my headphones aside and smirked at my tears. What a beautiful and imaginary song! Surely, a woman must’ve written this for them. Surely, they were puppets on some label’s string. There is nothing real about these lyrics.

I wonder how many girls have fled this moment. I wonder how many have thrown themselves right back into the ring, fighting a fight that is not their own. I wonder how many have sat in front of mirrors, asking what they did wrong. I wonder how many cry for no reason. I wonder if they know and understand that they are not alone.

Lucky for me, I had a mother to whisper good things to me. As a child, she sung Ray Charles’ “You Are So Beautiful” every night while I fell asleep. Every time I found myself on path number one, the melody of her voice would drift quickly into my mind. I’d awake from a lively slumber, gazing at a fool who would soon see my back as it left.

I am sick of hearing friends complain about men who aren’t worthy of their time. We have so many excuses for the neglectful ones. Sunglasses and smiles hiding our bruises, we uplift them to pedestals on which they don’t belong.

If you are reading this and you’ve missed your moment, I’m giving it to you. Good men exist, they teeter on the corner of opening your eyes and letting your guard down. This is your moment, if you’ve missed it.

Run, renew and wait.


Veronica said...

Warning: This response is a novel--lol:

Wait wait wait! Your dad worked at BET?!?! My mom worked at BET for almost 10 years and I worked there for 1 year after high school! Was your dad at the old news building in D.C.? Small SMALL world Riv!

I remember that RuffEndz song too. My favorite part was the near-end adlibs "Someone to love you, you-y-y-you-y-y-yooouu-ooh" LOL!

I had this exact thought a few days ago. How many times does a young girl cry tears for a BOY that doesn't deserve them? How many girls have gone back and forth with a BOY that didn't deserve to even be in their presence in the first place? Too many.

Yes, good men exist and I'm a sure witness that all men at not dogs. When will women realize their worth? It breaks my heart to see young girls & even grown women being used, abused and disrespected. But it all begins at home. It is this generation's duty to teach our daughters from BIRTH that they should carry themselves and be upheld as queens and expect nothing less.

Love this post.

riva. said...

"It is this generation's duty to teach our daughters from BIRTH that they should carry themselves and be upheld as queens and expect nothing less. "

A-men sista! The epitome of how I will raise my own.

Yeah mann, my dad worked at the NYC offices though. Those were good times. Free concert tickets, backstage, etc... lol

Thanks for reading. :)